Processing Thoughts

It has been a weird few weeks.

I know we are all feeling it right now. I’ve been trying to process thoughts for days to see if things can seem a bit clearer and I just keep coming back full circle.

I made the decision to be self-employed and I have been working from home now for a good few years and I know right now there are a lot of ‘X ways to work at home’ articles and I’m not going to add to that noise at all because it’s completely different. I am really feeling that difference. I enjoy structure and at the moment I’m probably doing very little of what I normally would.

My kids are now at home after their school closed, my eldest works well on her own and she seems to be coping well. It’s the first week and I realise this won’t continue but it’s in contrast to my youngest. My boy has struggled being away from his friends, he is shy and whilst we have supported and encouraged video calls he’s found it all very emotional. Which has sent me over a few times too.

I’m also as hormonal as f*** right now.

I am incredibly lucky to still have work to be focusing on, I know others are not that lucky. That being said, it is less than it was. I can get it all done in a few hours a day and can spend the rest of the time with my family. I have elderly relatives that I am helping with food supplies so that’s kept my mind focused too.

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After last night’s 8pm clap for our nhs and carers I got really emotional. I wondered how many would join in and I think we all wondered how our own neighbourhoods would do it, would anyone do it. I was really proud by how many came out, how many were clapping, cheering, singing songs etc. I was really overcome after. I think it’s helped to recognise that everything is a huge change but there is still positive things.

We’ve been enjoying our daily walks, our local park was fairly flooded recently but it’s really started to dry up again and there’s all the spring bulbs coming out and it’s been really pretty to watch the signs of spring. Our dog has really enjoyed the kids being home and of all of us, he’s the most carefree soul. The only routine in our house is that the back door will go at 6am – when my boyfriend goes to work (parcelforce) and again about 6.30pm when he’s back home. Other than that the dog is happily getting hugs and jumping in laps all day. I even set up a video chat with my friend who we used to go on dog walks together so the pups could see each other. They both sniffed and licked the screen! My heart!!

I have been waking up when I’ve heard the back door go (he’s always quiet but you know when you can just feel a noise?) and getting up, showered and dressed. I’ve been working early and it’s amazing as when I have done this normally, I hardly get a reply til’ after 9am. But in the last week, others are online at the same time. There’s something reassuring about it. I’ve also found my usual email reply has changed to include ‘stay safe’ or ‘take care’.

I feel like my WFH status is different now and it’s mostly about self care enabling me to concentrate on work. Things that I have done;

  • Limited news updates to when I choose to find out. I don’t have any news update apps or notifications.
  • I have been mindlessly scrolling social media a lot the last few weeks. Not all of it has been bad, in fact I think most of it has been a distraction in a good way. Make sure your social media feeds are following people who bring you joy.
  • Rewarded myself once work is done. Whether that’s food related or like the other morning, I did my work with a hair mask on. Once my work was done and my hair washed, I had sleeky locks again.
  • I made a list of things I would do in isolation and then I’ve felt guilty about not starting any of them. I’ve just started to get back into reading again. I guess not to put myself under pressure to start ALL the things straight away.
  • Started a gratitude log. I used to have a page in my bullet journal for this but now more than ever it is needed.

The realisation that a lot of how I feel, is the same as everyone right now is in some ways a comfort. We are not alone. We are all dealing with so much and I still don’t know when I’ll truly be able to process what is going on.

We know it is a very uncertain time for a lot of small businesses right now. We had a popular Behind The Wick interview series and if any candle and/or wax sellers want to be featured then get in touch. This is completely free! 

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We will continue to blog and review products through this time, there might be the occasional personal blurt like this one too. I know when I have been digging into my blog reading recently, that I most want to read skincare and candle reviews. We all need escapism at times, more so at the moment.

Take care of yourselves xo

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