Where does the time go? Who steals it and makes it disappear?
I’m pretty sure a lot of you can relate to not feeling like they have time to get everything they want to in the week. I’m a mega planner and schedule my time through the week but I can still feel disappointed when I’m not ticking off enough tasks. I can feel stuck in a loop of “not getting anywhere” and this does nothing to stop my procrastination.
The thing is we can all plan but when life stuff happens it can’t be planned for and we adapt accordingly. Prioritising what’s important and due to the fight or flight method we might not actually be looking after our own needs or care through this time.
I have children and the school holidays have just about come to an end now, we’ve had a fab time. Lots of fun and giggles, there has also been the guilt that I still have to work and have to arrange play dates, summer day camps and of course visits to my Aunt’s. Working freelance from home gives me the flexibility to work when I want to but it also means if I don’t get work done (I have to!) then I won’t get paid. I don’t regret the decision to go back to work and I certainly have no feelings about anyone who chooses to not work. We all have individual circumstances that mean either decision is best for them and their family.
I often feel like I’m keeping myself just afloat at times but also when I have a small block of time to get stuff done, this can also be my most productive time. It’s like the world is going to end and these tasks must be completed before the timer runs out. 9/10 I get everything done and still have time for a quick game of mahjong. Ahem.
Before the summer holidays started I set myself out a few rules for my own self care;
– Every Sunday night to treat myself to a face mask. I have LOVED doing this and totally blame my addiction to sheet masks on this weekly ritual. Haha!
– Try to switch off at 10pm from electronic devices. Big fat fail on this one but it’s almost been before midnight…
– Go to Hot Yoga at least once a week. Have managed at least two sessions a week!
– Started BoxFit. Once a week, another success.
– I’m a big believer in getting the kids to help at dinner times. Even if they just lay the table for me it’s a real help. But they both do more than that and also it tends to be them that asks if they can help. They are both expert spud peelers now. We’ve meal planned a lot which they have been involved in too. Meal planning is SO good if you feel like you’re forever coming and going. I find it’s a great way to empty your freezer… to stock it up again!
– Bullet Journal. Planning is key to my core of keeping my head straight. My anxiety problems haven’t miraculously gone away using one but I do find that I’m less likely to wobble hard, it can bring me back down.
That’s not bad at all.
The other factors that have wobbled me this summer are the fact that I do have ageing relatives and a few calls have made me drop everything and be there for them. Emotionally it really does get to me and I know I bottle that up – only to let it all go when I’ve either had one two many wines or I will just stress out release. Never pretty.
I’m also still emotional over the Manchester attacks. I moved back up to Manchester a few years ago now and I still feel incredibly emotional about it all. My eyes are welling up writing this bit and I don’t think I’ll ever not cry thinking about it. I do also feel incredibly proud of this city and how it’s recovering, the Manchester bee always meant so much but holds so much more emotion to it now.
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The thing that I struggle with most is that I can plan my life out but the unexpected stuff knocks me for six. I’m learning to let go of the tension feelings when life stuff happens and puts other things on pause for a bit.
I’m definitely a working progress. Hold on to the positivity and let go of the negativity. Easy to say but time to put it into practice.
Watch this space.